How many times have people said, ?Well, thank God you have each other?? How many times have you felt ?each other? to be entirely inadequate at meeting your needs? Alarming statistics are available telling us of the rocky road parents encounter in their marriage, after the death of a child. We sometimes see in ourselves a touchiness or quickness to become irritated that wasn?t there before. It always seems that my ?bad? day is my wife?s good day or the day she wakes up crying is the day I plan on playing tennis. Sometimes, we both have a bad day and find no help from the other in pulling things back together. How can one person hold up another when he or she is face down in the mud? Every person grieves differently. This is a rule that applies even within a family. The needs of every individual are different. While you may need to talk and talk and talk, your spouse may need some time alone to reflect inwardly. You have both been through the worst experience of your life. While at times you can face recovery as a team, sometimes you must develop the patience to be able to wait out certain needs alone, or with someone else. Realize that no matter how it is shown, your partner hurts too. Gerry Hunt |
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